Rock Bottom Isn't Just For Addicts

Yesterday between 3:00 A.M. and 3:30 A.M., I was jolted awake from sleep literally having a panic attack.  Paralyzed with anxiety, fear and depression of whether my child was o.k.  Yes, from the middle of sleep.  This is where my mind and heart have focused.  I have let addiction consume me -- yet again.  There really is no intervention for those of us who love addicts.  We seem to endure the suffering until we either break, shut down, or shut out our loved one all together.  

Yesterday, I hit rock bottom.  Until this point, I had been able to drag myself out of bed and function reasonably well.  Some days harder than others, but that's life.  Well, not yesterday.  Yesterday, I was overcome with my emotions so much that I didn't function.  I couldn't and, frankly, I wasn't even going to try.  

I won't lay this whole "episode" at addiction's feet.  There are other stressful situations going on in my life -- like everyone else has.  What I will do is own it.  I own that I am hitting rock bottom with my emotions.  I will own that I am out of control and I need help.  I will own that, while not an addict, I have let addiction consume me.  I'd dare say I am not alone as a parent, or anyone who loves an addict, as being consumed.  

My focus in writing this is for those of you who are struggling to help someone who loves someone who is addicted, just love them.  Like the addicts we love, we too will hit our rock bottom, and we have to do it on our own.