PUNCHING BAG (Written June 2021)

Written in June 2021

According to Wikipedia, the definition of a punching bag is this:

A punching bag (or, British English, punchbag) is a sturdy bag designed to be repeatedly punched

I felt that this morning. My son called from jail (Why he’s there and how long will be an entirely different blog. One I am not ready to dive into yet.) I could tell from very early on he was just angry. I’m sure it is a combination of emotion that just manifests itself in anger. I was just waiting for him to “punch” me; and, sure enough, he did. It was over something trivial; and the context isn’t really even important. Nothing I said to him, or even didn’t say, was going to put out the fire that was raging - even agreeing with him made him angry. He realized it, and said he was just going to hang up before it got worse. Not because he realized I hadn’t done anything to deserve the anger, but because he knew it wasn’t going to get any better. Better some self-awareness than none.

After we got off the phone, I was feeling particularly emotional. Like a punching bag that had just had the hell beat out of it. Deflated and crumpled. The first thing I did was search Biblical scripture for “punching bag”. The first thing that popped up was someone else’s blog from 2017. So, I read it. I’ll include the link to at the end of this. It’s worth a read and full credit goes to that author. What I particularly took away from that blog was a scripture I have written about before, Romans 12:21.

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

How fitting. It was what I needed to hear to know how to fight for my son. Not with him. I then went back to my previous blog using the same scripture reference. It reminded me of the evil that I am truly at war with, and that my son is truly at war with, addiction — and the consequences that go along with this illness and it’s choices.

I told a friend about how I was feeling, and while telling them about it, I realized that I am strong enough to be the “punching bag” because that is what my son needs from me right now. Since I have been at the hands of disrespect and him just being a jerk, I’ve learned when he really needs that soft place place to vent. And, as hard as it is to be that place, that is sometimes my purpose. I was then reminded of Psalm 46:5. God built me for this. He is with me. He makes up the contents of this punching bag, and I am strong enough to take the hits. The way to overcome evil is with good. And I am good at being strong because that is what my son and the Lord need me to do.

As promised: https://juschrist4.com/2017/12/13/punching-bag/ (I did not write the blog in this link. All credit to that author, Christina Cruz-Mendez, and thanks to her for helping me realize what I needed to do.)