Raise 'Em Up

Due to divorce, in 2006, I found myself  as a single-mother, raising a seven year old boy.  I could go into all of the reasons (drugs being at the foundation) that my son's father and I divorced after 13 years of marriage; and, although they are important, in the end, it doesn't change the fact that I was a single woman raising a son. 

Thankfully, I had grown up with older brothers.  To survive in the hills of Tennessee, I had learned lots of "boy stuff" like how to play Cowboys and Indians, to shoot a BB-Gun, run outside barefoot, and even how to deer hunt.  Still, that had not prepared me for being the primary caregiver and daily role model of a red-headed, stubborn, smart, funny boy.

Gratefully, my son and I had an amazing support system of family and friends, both male and female.  It really does take a village to raise a child, and we had a good one.  What I didn't realize was that we (my son) needed those strong men as much as he needed me; and, more importantly, we both needed God.    

Admittedly, I did not know the importance of having God as a part of daily life.  I didn't grow up in church, and I didn't take my child there on a regular basis.  Looking back and with some maturity, what a mistake I feel that was.  Also, I did not realize the importance of a good, Godly, man's influence in a child's life, especially a boy.  Since I had grown up essentially without my dad in my life, and not in church on a regular basis, and had been raised by my amazingly strong mother, I didn't realize that raising my child would be any different.  I knew I believed in God, and thought I knew enough about religion and God that I didn't feel I was going to Hell in a hand basket.  I had this.  I could raise this boy.  

Looking back, I see how important it should have been for my son (and me) to have God in his life daily, and to regularly surround him with strong, men.  Facing this addiction might have been easier for both of us; because it is through Him, and with the help of that village, that I have been able to cope at all. 

I can't quote scripture or tell you where this particular verse is or that, but what I can tell you, from my experience -- if you are struggling, and you look in the Bible, you will find scripture that speaks to you struggle.  I can tell you that this is one of the tools I use to cope with my loved one's addiction.  

This is not a blog to say to single parents should run out join the first church on the corner, or that with God your child would not become an addict.  It is not to say that religion is the answer to addiction.  What I hope you will take away is that it is okay not to be all things to your child.  As much as we want to be all things to our children, that we want to sober them up and put them on a path to recovery, we cannot do it alone.  We need spiritual support and the support of our loved ones.  No one recovers alone.